Johnson’s Jewels – His Ultra Secret Food Spots

I’ve been tasked with providing you all with a “Jonathan Johnson’s secrets of Victoria” list. But I really don’t want to. I love these places. I love never having to wait in line, I love not being swarmed by overenthusiastic fans of my writing, and I love the smug satisfaction of knowing something that the rest of you don’t. I have, however, no choice. Well, I sort of do, and I’m going to exercise my right to make that choice. 

Akin to Sol Kauffman’s concerns at listing his own secrets, I’m concerned that if I reveal my jewels of this city, it’ll be overrun by you people.  But, as a cutting-edge food journalist, I realize that I’m required, at times, to provide information on the food of this fine city that I might not normally relay. So I will do so. Reluctantly. But, there’s a catch: I’m not telling you where these places are.

Yes, that’s right: I’m making a Johnson’s Secrets list not explicitly listing where these places actually are. Now, to be fair, I’ll give you a few hints but, really, it’s up to you to find these fine establishments. And, hey, maybe along the way, you’ll find your own new Victoria Secret (wait…). Dandy! Here it is, then: Johnson’s Jewels. Think you know the place? Take a pic of yourself in front of it (or just send me the name, whichever) on my Twitter (@jonolafjohnson) or my Instagram (@jonjohns) [Editor’s note: tag @eatmagazine – twitter, and @eatmag – instagram. Maybe there is something in it for you if you find all 4]. Challenge accepted, I assume?

 

 

Secret the First

Not far from: Royal Jubilee Hospital; Taste Coffee

 

This one is probably the easiest—I expect it to go quick. This is my go-to secret breakfast spot. Why this place? By a huge margin, this is probably the best place to get Eggs Benedict in town—the hollandaise is surprisingly refreshing, with a nice amount of citrus zest. Tired of English muffins? Yeah, same—order a Montreal Smoked Benny here on a Latka and, hoo-boy, you’ve got yourself a top rate breakfast. This place also serves a fantastic Shakshouka; a-not-quite-as-well-known breakfast consisting of poached eggs on top (or sometimes baked in) a sauce of tomatos, onions, and peppers. This gem of a place serves Shakshouka with a healthy dollop of nicely steamed spinach. What else do I love about this place? Well, while it’s always bustling, you never have to wait for a table here. Tired of waiting in line at the those other breakfast spots for way, way too long? Me too. Go here, and skip the all-to-common breakfast rush lines scattered across Victoria.

 

 

 

Secret the Second

Not far from: Dallas Road; Fairfield; the place of the Burger that almost destroyed me.

 

 

This little cluster of establishments is a bit of a hidden gem in itself, and Sol Kauffman just recently highlighted another gem in close proximity to the secret I’m nudging you towards today. This place offers fantastic Japanese and Korean food. The Seafood Bibimbap is definitely my favourite; tons of fresh vegetables, pickled bean sprouts, a dollop of kimchi (if you ask for it), tuna and salmon sashimi, radish, perfectly cooked rice, and a spicy, smoky, Sriracha-ish sauce garnished with black sesame make this a true winner. At $9.50, it’s good value, too. Also worth checking out is the Kimchi Udon which at a sort of mind-blowing $8.00, could be one of the last eight dollar dishes in the city. If you can find this place, definitely go. I don’t think they even have a sign, and it’s pretty hidden away, but the food is fantastic, they’re always super friendly, and you can buy homemade kimchi here (which, I should add, is the very kimchi that got me hooked on the fiery fermented stuff).

[Editor’s note: Adam just profiled a few Bibimbap places as well here.]

 

 

 

Secret the Third

Not far from: Wherever it is I met the guys from thenumber creative not too long ago.

 

 

Hidden gem? It’s hard to say—this place is definitely well known about town, and they have a pretty solid reputation. They’re open for lunch and dinner and, while dinner can get just a bit pricey (for good reason; Korean BBQ is a beautiful thing), they offer some truly stellar lunch specials. Serving up a range of super excellent traditional Korean lunches, you’ll find everything from Bibimbap, to Bento Boxes, to—my favourite—a hot Kimchi Jjigae (think stew). Replete with tofu, pork, a ton of kimchi, onion, green onion, and mushroom, it’s one of the best “warm me the hell up” lunches to seek out during the winter months. Also absolutely incredible here is the “sides” situation. Sit down, order, and you’re greeted with a borderline meal-in-itself, a cornucopia of side dishes: kimchi, pickled bean sprouts, spinach salad, white rice, and a sweet-pickled potato. Come by for dinner and score a Korean BBQ spread, order sides late into the evening, and drink way too much Sapporo or hot sake. I’ve eaten for hours here, and I regret nothing, except for tipping you off to this place. Please, just don’t go.

 

 

 

Secret the Fourth

Not far from: a place once called Brannigans (which was awful), the McDonalds where all the campus kids eat cheeseburgers

 

Oh man. Oh man, oh man. This just might be the gem of the city. Ramen is a thing right now, especially following the opening of Foo Ramen. Sol Kauffman sort of got it wrong when he posted that Foo Ramen is “Victoria’s first real ramen.” Sorry, my man, this place has been doing real ramen for just a little bit longer. And man, is it good, and the price point is insane; $8 will get you a basic bowl of ramen, while something like $10.25 will get you a more deluxe, miso-based ramen replete with plenty of BBQ pork and—you guessed it—kimchi. There are a ton of varieties of ramen, and the noodles are pitch perfect—sweet, and just a bit chewy. It’s served piping hot, which is key, and the pork is so thinly sliced and just fatty enough that it soaks up every ounce of that truly excellent broth. The place is super weird/charming, too; there’s a manga bookshelf, and a pinchinko machine which, sadly, is broken at the time of writing. It’s a place that’s definitely worth seeking out. It’s a very different ramen than what you’ll find at Foo, but they both most definitely have their places within the city. Look for a “ramen roundup” in the not too distant feature written by yours truly.

 

So there you (very vaguely) have it, my top four secret-ish spots in Victoria. Take a shot of the place and hit me up on Twitter (@jonolafjohnson) or on Instagram (@jonjohns) with #jewellocated.

[Editor’s note: tag @eatmagazine – twitter, and @eatmag – instagram. Maybe there is something in it for you if you find all 4].